Photos and text by Ana Cano
“I remember the next morning when I woke up, I was sure it was the end, I was so sure because I felt like I had my body back,” reveals Natalia with a warm smile, reminiscing on her life changing experience. It was on a cold January day in 2011 when Natalia found out she was pregnant. For her, the decision of having an abortion was never in doubt .
A life changing decision
Natalia was a 27 year old sexual educator when she had to make the decision to have an abortion. “For me it was very important that I was a sexual education teacher...I felt like I was not supposed to be pregnant since I know everything about contraception,” she confesses.
She did not have many options when it came to terminating her pregnancy. Unfortunately, being from Poland, the alternatives narrowed down to two: traveling to Slovakia, which ment spending a months salary, or performing a medical abortion at home.
“Being pregnant felt like prison”
Natalia finally decided to contact Kobiety W Sieci, a pro abortion group that helps women all over Poland to have a safe medical abortion. Five days later, she received her package. Kristina, one of the members of the group, was the first one to know about her situation and her first supporter. She accompanied her during the whole process.
The process was painful. However, it was easier than Natalia expected. “The first thing that I did was go to Ikea to buy some plants, that was the best option for me at the moment” She laughs. Plants give her a sense of comfort, and by buying new ones she felt like she was finally putting her life back together.
“After my abortion I was very tired because I went through 2 weeks of a lot of stress”
The only people Natalia told about her abortion were her boyfriend and her mom, both whom were very supportive about her decision. Even if she had three people now that supported her, even if she was always informed about the procedure and even if she never felt ashamed of her decision, she still felt scared to share her story thanks to Poland’s stigma towards abortion. “I was quiet about my experience for five years.”
A storyteller is born
It was in 2016 when an American pro-choice movement inspired Natalia to speak up about her experience. “I thought it would be nice to have that in Poland but someone had to start, so I thought: Why not me?”
When Natalia started being open about her experience, she felt even more sure about her decision. Fortunately, she never felt any type of rejection or hate towards her decision. However, this is not the case for many women in Poland. According to her, most women don’t even get a medical check up after their abortion, scared of what their doctor’s reaction might be.
After years of being scared, Natalia now calls herself a storyteller. A woman who is not afraid to be a voice for all of those who still feel ashamed or scared to share their story, or even for those who are still afraid of making a decision. “Your decision is all about you, and no one else’s business” She says firmly.
Natalia is now a co-founder alongside Karolina Wieckiewicz of the Polish activist group Aborcyjny Dream Team, helping women with their journey. She hopes that she can someday do this as a full-time job. She will continue to fight for a change in polish laws and culture regarding abortion.